White Bread Days: Hopey is 5!

We're getting to that place where Hope's babyhood seems like a long time ago (even though it really wasn't). Our memories of her being small are precious, and even all the sleep-deprivation can't cloud my memory of that gob-smacked feeling of "how can this tiny, completely innocent and vulnerable, perfect miracle of God be dependent on ME?!" But there are details of the day-to-day that start to get fuzzy, even after only five years. That makes me so sad, but so grateful for what I have recorded in this blog!

Hope's birthday has been bittersweet for me this year. I so enjoyed celebrating her, and celebrating with her but the fact that she's now 5 is hard to swallow. Being 5 changes things. There are a hundred small things that separate the 5-year-old Hope from the baby girl I brought home - the immense vocabulary, her adorable personality, her compassionate heart, her spiritual awareness, her budding hobbies and interests, let alone her physical development (she's now 42 pounds, 43.5 inches - 75th percentile). But then there's the big one that's looming - she'll start full day kindergarten in just a couple of months. Sob!

And then there's the unexpected one that hit me today like a ton of bricks: the end of Hope's baby book. I brought it out to fill out the page about her 5th birthday, and so I realized, that's the last page of the book. Which, of course, means the end of her baby/toddler/preschooler phases. Sob, sob, sob!

I can empathize now with my mom who used to wish for us to be preschoolers again, just for a little while, to re-live the sweetness. Despite the long and tiring days in this stage of life, sometimes I want to freeze time and just stay HERE, where Hope and Grant are both so adorable, where they need me so much, and where my purpose in life is clear and fulfilling. But I commit to cheering on their growing up, celebrating their independence, and continuing to fulfill my purpose even after it changes. That is, I'm begging God to help me do those things ;)

All that's to say I really, really, really love my Hopey and I'm so proud of the fantastic kid she's turning into. We got to drag out the birthday celebrations between her actual birthday, her party, and then the mini-party she had at school (where she was thrilled to get a little necklace with a '5' on it and be able to take cupcakes to her classmates). She had such fun at her party at the Nature Center too. She has friends from several circles, and they all overlapped at the party, so she was playing hostess and loving being a social butterfly, flitting between her friends and enjoying them all. It really was special for her that they all came - she felt so loved, and that makes me very happy!