Learning integrity, the hard way

We were having a nice time this afternoon, playing a new board game after Hope got home from school. At some point I noticed that she was playing with a little blue cocktail umbrella, which I hadn't seen before. I asked her where she got it, and suddenly everything came crashing down. She stalled, acted weird, and tried to avoid the question - clearly trying to hide the truth. But it came out: during art class, she took the umbrella from the "Art Star" prize box when nobody was looking.

She was reluctant to tell me because she knew it was wrong, and because she knows that one of the things I find personally the most offensive is deception ("sneakiness" in kid-speak). But once she got the truth out there, it was followed by many tears and lots of repentance and sorrow. I explained that she'll have to go to her art teacher first thing in the morning and tell her what she'd done, apologize, and return the umbrella. Then I poured on the compassion and told her how proud I am of her for telling me the hard truth - she could have just told me she was the Art Star today, and got to pick a prize, and I totally would have believed her. And even though she's filled with trepidation about 'fessing up to her art teacher, she didn't complain or back-pedal at all when I told her she must.

Poor Hope is learning a tough lesson. She did a bad thing, and now has to face the consequences. She's upset, and I feel such compassion for her, but I know making her follow through is the right thing to do. Honestly, so does she. I just hope and pray that her teacher handles it well ...
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As it turned out, the art teacher is only at school two days a week, so Hope wasn't able to speak to her the next day. I left a message for her to call me, and when she did, I explained what happened. I would have preferred if Hope had had to do that, but I didn't want it hanging there unresolved over the weekend. Her teacher was sweet about it, and said she'd be happy to talk to Hope the following week but that in the meantime I should tell her not to worry and that everything would be fine. So when Hope finally did see her, and delivered her little note of apology, I think she felt better.

I have no doubt that Hope will make more mistakes in the future - she's human, after all. But I don't think this is one she's likely to repeat for a little while at least!